Mum Strength

Hello Friends,

This afternoon K had a mini-meltdown at the library. In his defence, it was long passed his nap time and the whole incident could have been completely avoided had I not selfishly dragged him there for Toddler Story time (read: mama-needs-a-coffee-and-some grown-up-conversation time), god love him for making it as long as he did. So there I was, wrestling my squirming, screaming, red-faced toddler into his stroller, while balancing my room-temperature coffee in one hand, all while attempting to prevent my unfortunately-low-cut, nursing top (yes, I still wear some of my maternity/nursing clothes- don't judge) from gaping open so far that the library staff hand me a lifetime library ban. However, with a little bit of athletic prowess and a lot of luck, I got the job done.

Having managed to complete this seemingly impossible task without further incident, I wheeled out of the library as fast as I could. I decided to cut through the mall fully aware that I would have to ascend 6 stairs to get out onto the street. As I approached the stairs, I played out two scenarios: Option A) I pull K out of the stroller, only to have to wrestle his tiny, little, rigor-mortis-like self back into the stroller 1 minute later (read: K has epic meltdown #2 and I look like Mum of the Year for a second time in 10 minutes) and Option B) I summon up what little strength/energy afforded to me by the 8 sips of coffee I've managed to consume and lift my 22lb diva and his 10lb ride up the 6 steps (read: K laughs at the pained look on my face, while various on-lookers are both marvelled and perplexed by my He-Man antics). Accepting that I would most definitely pay for it later on tonight, I chose Option B and lifted that stroller and it's precious cargo like it was my job (oh wait...). And that's when I heard it...

"Wow, look at that Mum Strength"- Random On-looker

This got me thinking, what does it mean to have "Mum Strength"? Surely the vast majority of able-bodied 20-somethings can lift 30lbs?

So while I appreciate compliments such as these, to me, lifting 30lbs doesn't meet the criteria for "Mum Strength". In fact, I don't measure the strength of a mum by the amount of weight she can lift, or the miles she can run, or the feet she can jump, rather I think of Mum-Strength as an immeasurable entity earned only by giving up a little bit of selfishness for your children every minute of every day.

Mum Strength to me is:

- Singing gently and talking sweetly to a colic-y 4-month old baby while you close in on the 5th hour of constant screaming (sidebar:"colic lasts for up to 6 weeks" Pfff... we had 3 fun-filled months of it)

- Patiently wiping all three courses of your tiny-human's lunch off of your face (fine, goldfish and milk, for the third meal in a row, it is.)

- Smiling as that mum at the Early Years Centre pokes fun at the way your tiny human crawls, and proceeds to tell you that her "perfect spawn" has been walking since 12 months (well, good for him, I'm sure his superior motor skills will totally grant him a pass in the future for being that weird, paste-eating kindergartner)

- Not ripping into that childless friend of yours as they ramble on about how kids are the worst or constantly compare babies to dogs (or vermin or any other non-human being) "Oh, but not K" (Yeah, Ok. Jerk.)

- Excitedly reading "The Nose Book" complete with funny voices, for the zillionth time because you're adorable little man has the biggest smile when you do (I'm sure the neighbours appreciate the effort as well)

What?! "You see a nose on every face"?? That's insane!

- Recognizing when you're about to take your entire day's frustration out on your unsuspecting husband when you hear his key jingling in the door, and instead you greet him with a kiss and a "how was your day?" (note: I'm probably only 50/50 with this one- sorry D)

- Having the courage to walk up to a group of mums and introduce yourself because those kids look to be about K's age and you know how much fun he has playing with other tiny people (I totally feel like it's my first day of grade 9 every. single. time.)

- Knowing when you need to call in the big guns ("Hey Mum, K has/wants/is doing x,y,z and I don't know what to do, I need you.")

And finally, despite being credited for my Stroller-Stair performance, I think today's true display of mum strength was:

- Knowing when to bow out of the only activity you have planned for the afternoon (mama-needs-a-coffee-and-some grown-up-conversation time) because K needs a nap. Even if it meant sitting alone on the couch, sipping a cold cup of coffee, writing a blog post that may or may not be of interest to any other human being. (Oh, and not flashing the entire library, that was pretty impressive too.. go me! haha)

While this list is, by no means, comprehensive, I think it represents how I define "Mum Strength".

The funny thing about Mum-Strength is that, ironically, it is in those most challenging moments, those moments when you feel the weakest, that you demonstrate the most strength. So I challenge all mums (and dads-as this can apply just as easily to you), to reflect on times when you felt the most challenged, the most vunerable as a mum, and recognize your strength, the strength you draw from (and for) those tiny people who depend on you.

You are doing a bang-up job. *Virtual high-fives all around!*

Until next time my friends,

-A

Mum Strength- Attending a Bridal Shower with K and Still Smiling 5hrs Later