If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that predictability is an illusion. It’s that no one is privy to the script of the cosmic production we’re all part of. We all must be willing to adapt to an everchanging narrative while understanding and accepting that no particular ending is guaranteed. While that may seem bleak and depressing, I can promise you it’s not. There is something quite liberating about acknowledging that the roles we play are not and cannot be set in stone. What we choose to do and how we choose to do it will almost always be modified from start to finish. The unpredictability of life adds an element of excitement, of interest, but also of interdependence on others.
This non-negotiable interdependence has been on full display
throughout the global pandemic. Never before have humans been so acutely aware
of how what we do as individuals impacts the group. With the massive amount of
education we’ve received on disease spread, not only could the average Canadian
probably teach an intro to epidemiology course but we understand how a single
person can have a regional impact. That being said, the last couple of years
have also demonstrated that the balance of interdependence is fluid, meaning certain
members of society rely on or support others more at any given time. The
balance is maintained more easily when everyone in a society understands this
and acts accordingly.
As a parent, I feel one of the most important lessons we need to teach our children is that while their actions are not likely to be the "be-all and end-all" to life as we know it, they do impact others, always. However, there are ways to soften or strengthen that impact depending on the circumstance. It is important to me that my kids understand and are able to tailor their impact on others. While I don’t pretend to have all (or even a fraction) of the answers to what someone should or should not do and when, I do know that understanding the following concepts makes it easier to recognize your impact and act accordingly to make the world a better place for everyone.
1. Acknowledging you don’t know what you don’t know
This may seem simple enough, but it is the most important concept to grasp. No one has all the answers. No one. Ironically, what makes someone an expert is one’s willingness to acknowledge there is much they don’t know and to be a lifelong learner. As individuals we must seek information and guidance from a variety of sources. Expertise cannot exist in a vacuum or from a single perspective and the wisest members of society understand and embrace this.
2. Understanding that regardless of what you’re working on, you approach it from a perspective that is unique to you and your experience
I am a white, heterosexual, cisgender woman, who grew up in rural Ontario, and went to university. I live in a loving and financially stable home. I chose to have children and have the privilege of staying home with them. My understanding and worldview are born out of that reality. This is not to say that I am unable to appreciate, understand, and incorporate other perspectives, but doing so requires conscious action on my part and an understanding that even that process is influenced by my own perspective and life experiences.
3. Sometimes you need to recognize when you have expertise and choose to lead
There will be times when you look around and realize you are the expert in the group and others will look to you to lead. It can be overwhelming realizing you are the one best positioned to take charge. Perhaps it is my personality, or tendency towards “imposter syndrome”, but I’ve always struggled to feel comfortable in leadership roles. I credit parenthood with helping me overcome some of my hesitancy in this realm, as children will fashion you an expert on topics completely out of your depth and you just have to roll with it and learn on the fly. The same is true for most leadership roles and if I impart just one thing on my children, it will be that when presented with the opportunity, leadership is a process that you can and should embrace.
4. Volunteerism is one of the most undervalued roles in society.
Volunteers are the backbone of society and should be
valued as such. All too often, I’ve heard and/or experienced the sentiment that
“those who choose to volunteer do so because they are somehow inferior to paid
workers or unaware that they could find paid roles doing similar activities”. Volunteerism,
at least current society, is what allows society to continue to advance. It is
volunteers, not politicians, or executives, or even taxpayers, that foot the infinite
bill ensuring the most members of society have opportunities to participate, advance,
and even thrive in society. Whether we’re talking about volunteer little league
coaches, board members, soup kitchen staff, at home parents, 4H leaders, city
council committee members, hospital gift shop workers, etc., these individuals support
sectors that are often under or not funded by any other means. Volunteers will always
be needed by society, and my kids will grow up understanding this. It is my
hope that they will go on to do great things, and that volunteerism will be
part of that.
The world is complicated and ever evolving. As humans, we have a responsibility to work together to carve out and navigate a meaningful existence. As a parent, I will continue to incorporate the above concepts into my parenting to demonstrate how each and every one of us can work to make the world a more inclusive, compassionate, and understanding place.
