A Med Student for a Daddy: Part 2: Baby's First Fever

Hello Friends!

Wow, it has been a while! My apologies for the length of time between posts, but life has been more than a little hectic. I'll give you all a quick recap of what we've been up to since August, then on to today's topic! We spent 5 long weeks in Barrie, we touched down for 2 weeks back home, then it was off to Collingwood for 4 weeks. That brought us to mid-October... so that was Thanksgiving then K's First Halloween (which, thanks to mother nature, we spent at Toronto's brand new Aquarium- amazing by the way). We welcomed November with a trip to the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair, and then there were 4 days of parenting twins (K and his cousin G- who is only 3 days younger), which was no easy feat- thank goodness for Grammie! Let's see, we also had K's 6 and 8 month appointments, a round of flu shots for the family (shameless plug: get your flu shot!), D's Residency Application deadline, 3 baby teeth, Christmas Holiday planning, 8 month sleep regression, Christmas shopping and K's first fever! Whew. At the beginning of this paragraph, I was just using it as an easy excuse- because who's going to call out the mum of an infant? Haha. But, seriously. Life really has been hectic.

There's nothing like a sick baby to bring even the most confident parent to his/her knees. Unfortunately for us new parents, no two babies get sick in the same way, which means the majority of advice (both solicited and not) is rendered useless the second you try to implement it with your own bundle of joy. That's right, baby sickness is a right of passage for new parents, and as such, must be conquered by using your most basic maternal/paternal instincts (and a lot of coffee)!

I remember in the very early days of mummyhood worrying about baby sickness... "What if I don't realize he's sick?""How will I know if he has a fever?""What if I don't know what to do?""Will comforting a sick baby come naturally, or will I have to force it?". You would think that having a med student as my parenting partner in crime would provide some solace, or at the very least help to calm those (sometimes) irrational new mum fears, but it didn't and it doesn't.

I must preface this by saying that D tries to keep is daddy-goggles on when he is at home, and only busts out the doctor-goggs when I demand it. He has to balance his own unique conflict between being a doctor (to-be) and daddy, and I can't even imagine how tough that may be at times.

Don't get me wrong, D is wonderful, and is going to make a fabulous family doctor (in less than 6 months.. eek soo excited- I digress, sorry.).  His diagnoses are almost always bang on, and he can tell me the proper course of treatment (complete with the research evidence to back it up). While the rational, evidence-based side of me is always impressed with my impromptu doctor's consults, the mummy in me doesn't want to hear "There's nothing to be done for fever, the evidence shows we just have to offer fluids and let it run it's course. We can give Tylenol for discomfort though". Gah, how frustrating. While I know he's right, a typical mum could come home and complain to their husband about how the doctors won't do anything for their feverish, sad, cranky, uncomfortable baby. Here I am, sitting at home on the couch beside the guy who is telling me what I don't want to hear. It must really suck for him though, because when K is sick I can totally see his daddy hat, peeking out from behind the stethoscope, feeling horrible that his little guy is down for the count, and wishing that there was something to be done. Regardless, doctor-daddy has saved us countless long nights sitting in emerge, and for that we are pretty lucky.

But on a lighter note, I never realized how many mummy skills I got to practice as a child growing up on a farm. It never ceases to amaze D the kinds of parallels I am able to draw. For example, K is currently experiencing a nasty case of conjunctivitis or as I like to call it "kitten eyes". On the farm, our little baby kittens used to get sick (with who knows what) and occasionally their poor little eyes would glue shut. We would use warm water and a washcloth to unstick them. This feat was not for the faint of heart, as those scared little kittens had dagger claws that they were not afraid to use. Just this morning, I found myself with a warm washcloth, carefully wiping in an attempt to unglue my poor baby's eyelids, and like the kittens he used his baby talons to let me know that he too was scared and not ok with what I was doing (my poor arms and face took the brunt of it). However, when all was said and done, he was much happier to be able to see me and he quickly forgot the whole ordeal (just like the kittens). Now if only I could get my hands on some CefaLak (farmer joke).. Kidding! But we may go tomorrow to pick up some polysporin eyedrops if it doesn't start to clear up on its own by then.

Since K's first fever which lasted three looooong, sleepless nights, he has had a variety of other minor ailments, most currently his "kitten eyes". I must say that I am becoming better at recognizing sickness and tending to my sick little guy. However, seeing him sick still breaks my heart a little (and I don't forsee that changing). So if I could go back and offer "new-mum-me" some unsolicited advice, it would be don't worry too much about baby sickness. It is going to happen, and you WILL know when it does. In fact, there will be no mistaking it, babies are wonderful at letting you know when they don't feel well. As for comforting the sick baby, it will come just about as naturally as breastfeeding (haha). You will need to practice, practice, practice, and just when you think you have figured it out... the baby

will demand something totally different. Don't stress, just roll with it. Grab your bottle of infant tylenol and "Be Ready" (thanks Tylenol Commercial). But in all seriousness, having a sick baby is tough, there is no getting around that. However, when my little guy wakes me up for the 4th time tonight because he feels crappy and his eyes are glued shut, I will hold him tight and give him an extra long snuggle, because he won't be this small for very long, and at this moment all he wants is his mama. Just what the doctor ordered.

Until next time!
-A

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Mummy Tummy

Hello again,

Today I would like to talk about bodies. I will preface this post by acknowledging that I've never struggled with body image issues and my views on this topic rightfully reflect my personal experiences. That being said, I'm aware that not everyone will be able to relate to my ideas in their entirety. However, it is my hope that this post will be relatable in some small way to each and every mum out there.

Post baby bathing suit shopping. Enough said. Hahah. No, but seriously, every new mum out there will have to do it at somepoint. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but there will come a day when you need to get wet, and shorts and t-shirts just won't cut it. For me, that day was August 7th (approx 5 mo after K's arrival). Now, I should admit that I had already picked up a sexy 1 piece from Sears (something a grandma would be proud to sport) a few months back to wear in D's parent's hot tub, but that didn't really count, as I only planned on wearing that one in the privacy of their backyard. August 7th was the day I was to pick up something beach-worthy. After trying on several different styles at all my usual swimsuit stores, I decided to try Thyme maternity, as I wanted bottoms that didn't irritate my c-section scar, and a top that would allow me to easily nurse K while wearing. There were 4 styles on the rack; 3 were one piece suits, and 1 was a cute little bikini. After looking at the price of the first 3 ($69.00) I was thinking holy shit, back to Walmart I go. There was no way I was going to pay 70 dollars for a swimsuit, no mattter how comfortable. Then the sales associate tapped me on the shoulder and said "Have you seen the bikini? It just went on sale today. $14.00, I bought one this morning". I grabbed a couple sizes and headed for the change room. Fourteen dollars?! Yes please! It fit like a dream, so I didn't hesistate to buy one up. As the girl was ringing me up, I asked why on earth the swimsuit was on such good sale. She informed me that they had sold very few of the model ,company wide so they were trying to get rid of them. "I guess most mums don't want to show off their stretch marks and rolls" she said nonchalantly. "Well that's just silly, it fits my new curves so well. I feel like a million bucks in it" I replied. Then I thought, popular opinion regarding pregnancy and the human body is an amazing (read: ridiculous) thing.

When pregnancy transforms the body from this...

2 Weeks

to this...

39 Weeks and Counting

It is seen as such a miracle, one to be celebrated. However, when it goes from adorable baby bump...

2 Weeks Post-partum (complete with McD's Milkshake)

to this...Well that, that is unacceptable!

Post-baby bods have been a hot topic in the media lately. Thanks, in large part, to Princess Kate's very public display of her day-old post-baby bump. Women around the world praised her for this courageous show of mummyhood and I will admit, that I too, was quite impressed with her bold reveal. However, as I glanced down at my post baby bod nearly 5 months out, I thought to myself, Woop-dee-do. What's so bad about a mummy tummy, that one needs to be praised for admitting they have one? 

Flasback to last summer, I was super excited to show off my baby bump. I remember waiting anxiously for the day to arrive when my belly would finally "pop" and be obvious to the world that I, A. R., was having a baby! During those first few months, I poured over article after article, pintrest pin after pintrest pin, endless maternity fashion websites; The Perfect Pose to show off your baby Bump, How to Rock your Newest Accessory (baby bump), Fun and Funky ways to Capture your Bump as it Grows... the list went on and on. The content was endless. I was to embrace this beautiful bump and wear it loud and proud, and boy did I ever. I loved my bump, and I loved watching it grow. It wasn't until I was packing my bag for the hospital (just days before K was to arrive), that I thought about my post-delivery body and what it may look/feel like. I remember reading on the hospital admission checklist "1 pair of maternity pants (approx 6mo size). 

Wait. What? 6 months? I was very obviously showing at 6 months, there's no way I'll still look that pregnant, I naively thought to myself (and definitely said aloud to D). I decided to pack my super comfy maternity yoga pants, since they had fit all throughout my pregnancy and would surely be able to stay up on my new (and muuuuch smaller) post-baby butt. I think it was while we were sitting in triage, waiting to be admitted that I looked down at my bulbous belly and really appreciated what had happened to it over the past 9 months. There was no way that 9 months of growing and stretching and gaining and expanding could be undone in a matter of hours, no matter how big that little guy was in there (as I knew there was definitely not 65lbs of baby in there).

I think that that was the moment, I could've chosen to become anxious, upset, sad, scared of what was about to happen to my body. However, what I experienced in that moment was quite the opposite, I was met with a rush of anticipation, excitement, an eagerness to see what I would look like on the other side. I was going to be a mum and my body was going to reflect that! Unfortunately, after a failed induction, that feeling was quickly washed away as I was prepped and wisked away for an emergency c-section. A c-section? I didn't factor that into my post-baby bod fantasy. A flabby, saggy stomach, sure, but a hacked apart, horror movie, stapled and stitched stomach, eek. After the surgery, not only did I possess a 6 mo baby bump, but I ballooned up from my post-surgery water retention. I. Looked. Hot. (read: like a hot mess). I was, however, so sick and exhausted that I could care less what I looked like. Once I had a chance to sleep, and the immediate effects of a major abdominal surgery wore off, I had a chance to reassess my brand new mummy tummy. Not only did the delivery of K (and deflation of my huge bump) reveal some new stretch marks (read: badass tiger stripes), but I was going to have one awesome section scar (thankfully staple-free). 

During those first few weeks, I came to appreciate the usefulness of a puffy, mummy tummy. K could curl up on top of that soft, warm, mound of love when sitting, and it provided a handy shelf to rest him on when I was standing or breastfeeding and my arms needed a bit of a break. In my case, the pudge also shielded my scar, so I didn't have to look at it all frankenstein-esque as it healed. By the time  my belly had deflated enough to see it easily, it was nicely healed and provided some reassurance that my little guy was, in fact, growing, as there was no way he could fit out of that tiny slit now!

Every week since having K, my inbox and newsfeed have been blowing up with articles, ads, and opinions about what constitutes an "ideal" post baby body. In stark contrast to during pregnancy headlines now read Lose Baby Fat Fast, How to Hide Post Baby Tummy in Pictures, Get Back to Pre-preg Size in Time for Bikini Season, Simple Ways to Lose the Belly/ Make Stretch Marks/Scars Disappear just to name a few. It's sad to think that baby bumps are something to so celebrated, flaunted and shared, but post-baby body's should be hidden, masked, appear as though the bump never exsisted.  Is it really realistic to believe that something that took 9 months to take shape, should (or even could) take any less than that to return to what it was before? That's like saying, "Lady, I want you to run as fast as you can in that direction for 90 minutes, then turn around and make it back in 5 minutes". It doesn't make sense (and would only be possible with the help of some super fast turbo jet).

I can't lie, it hasn't been all sunshine and roses. I have, while trying to squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans, broken down and cursed that extra mound of skin that so gracefully flops over the sides. I have gruffly complained to D that I'm sick of wearing my maternity pants. I have uncomfortably sucked in my stomach for minutes at a time when walking around without K or when someone with a flat stomach sails into my line of sight (D called me on it the other day in the elevator, saying "Babe you look great, stop sucking in"). But for the most part, I am proud of my post-baby body. It says, I've done something amazing, I created a life, and there is enough of me here to see him through to adulthood!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for healthy active living and a big Kudos to all those new mums out there bustin' their butts at bootcamps, stroller fitness, mum and baby yoga, jazzersize, or whatever the latest fitness craze is. And while I haven't been doing any formal exercise programs, I get my fair share of activity by hoisting my growing baby boy up and down off the ground, in and out of his crib, strapping him on to go out for a walk around the neighbourhood, hauling that super awkward, completely non-ergonomical car seat in and out of the car. My body is far from perfect, but it has always been that way, and that's what makes me, me. Do I want to be able to fit back into my old clothes? Of course I do. Would I be heartbroken if I'm never a size 2 again? Absolutely not. As new mums we get an absurd amount of pressure to magically turn our bodies back into our pre-baby selves. I say, give yourself time to enjoy your new baby, navigate your new life as a mum, get your money's worth out of those maternity clothes that probably cost you three times as much and are far more stylish than the ones hanging in your closet (and far more comfortable). Remember it took your body nine  whole months to turn those couple of cells into a real live human baby, cut it some slack. Give it at least those nine months to figure out the whole mum thing!

Until next time my friends!

-A

Sporting my Mummy Tummy, Tiger Stripes and $14 Bikini!

"How are you liking motherhood?" Ugh.

Hello all.

Well, I'm finally starting to feel like a mum, and better yet, a mum who has an idea of what in the heck she's doing. Not that I feel like I have all the answers, or even 1/100th of the answers, but I have a couple answers, which is good enough for me! I think the best way to describe it, is that I feel like I know more about my baby than you do. While, deep down I know that I have alllways known more about K then the rest of the world, it has really only been in the last couple of weeks that I've really truly felt this way. In the first few months, I would tell myself "he's my baby, of course I know him best", but secretly, I would hang on to every word, every piece of non-solicited advice others would offer, and feel obligated to try it out, even if it was just in private where no one could see if it was successful or not. Lately, I've overcome that insecurity and welcomed a new sense of confidence in my decision-making as a parent. I know some things that work, and I know some things that don't. I have a grab bag of tricks, so I don't feel flustered if the first thing I try doesn't solve the problem.

Now that I'm rockin' that new mum swagger, I've been spending more and more time reflecting on the first few months of motherhood. How has it really been? What have I learned about myself? How has my relationship with K evolved? How have my other relationships changed? Is there anything I would do differently? How am I doing now?

I know some of you may be rolling your eyes right now, thinking that this whole self-reflection thing is a bunch of b.s. I mean, who actually does this for real? But I've found that as a stay at home mum (temporarily in the burbs') I have had a lot of time to think about things (and my thinking typically turns to reflecting).

The more I reflect, the more I believe that one of the hardest questions to answer as a new mum (and maybe as a mom at any stage) is "How are you liking motherhood?"
Whenever I'm confronted with this question, I find myself spewing out endless amounts of cliches and pre-fab phrases. "I'm really enjoying it"; "It's so rewarding"; "I couldn't feel more fulfilled"; "It's the best job in the world"; "It's better than I could've ever imagined"; "Tiring but so worth it".

And while I do feel all of those things at times, does that really capture how I feel about motherhood?

The short answer. No.

The long answer...

I didn't fall gracefully into mummyhood, though I would argue that in real life, no one does. The first few days of K's life, I didn't really feel like a mum at all. My whole labour and delivery experience was incredibly surreal, and it although K took 2 whole days to arrive it seemed to happen so very fast. I remember watching D as he held K for the first time, and as he changed, rocked and swaddled our new little baby with such pride. While I knew he was mine and I loved him, I didn't feel that I possessed that strong of a connection those first few days... weeks even. It made me feel really guilty. I remember sitting in my tiny condo, staring at this tiny baby, waiting to feel that burst of overwhelming pride and joy. Each day, D would come home and I would fill him in on our daily happenings. He was always so excited at each tiny accomplishment, each milestone reached. I'm not sure if D could sense the difficulty I was having interacting with K as a mum, or if he just didn't want to miss out, but he suggested that I snap and send him pictures frequently throughout the day. It was a wonderful idea, as snapping pictures of my adorable baby provided a perfect opportunity for interacting with K. As the pictures began to overload my phone and computer, I slowly began to see what he was seeing, feel what he was feeling, that amazing, astounding sense of pride in our tiny little human!

As the months passed, I have come to love this little guy so much more than I could ever describe. I can't remember life before him, and can't imagine life without him. At month 5 of K's life, I'm not liking motherhood at all, I'm loving it. In fact, I think most mum's would say that loving (liking) motherhood is a given.

However, I would like to caution all you question bombers (my pre-K self included) to think before dropping this question, as not all mums start off loving motherhood right out of the gate. Like any new job, the skills can take time to develop. There is a steep learning curve to motherhood. Reflecting on my first few months as a mum, I think it's perfectly fair to assume that a new mum could love her baby, while not necessarily loving or even liking motherhood. But is that the answer a new mum would like to provide a prying stranger (or loved one)? No. Is that an answer that that prying individual would expect to receive? Not likely. In my case, this loaded question just compounded the guilt I already felt, as not only was I not liking motherhood, but now I had to lie about it.

I recognize that most people do not ask this question with a ton of thought behind it, and similarily they don't expect (or even want) an answer with a ton of thought behind it. Like the question "How's it going?", it has evolved to be an automatic, somewhat meaningless question. But this question, can be extremely loaded for a hormonal, sleep-deprived, and extremely emotional new mum. Moreover, as a mum who spends most hours of the day with a companion who has very few conversational skills, I appreciate (read: crave) a good adult conversation. So these crappy, fluffy, substanceless questions do me (and any other mum for that matter) little to no good. Rather, one could ask a new mum "What have you learned today/this week/this month?" or "What are you planning for the next week/month/year?". I think it's fair to say that the questions you ask don't ever have to explicitly mention motherhood (or being a mum), as any conversation-inducing question will inevitably elicit an answer that involves our little ones and therefore our experiences as a mum.

Maybe this is just the OT in me, but I feel that this approach not only makes for better conversation, but I believe that it also allows mums to shape and share their responses in a way that preserves their identity as a person who is now a mum, rather than being defined solely as a mum. This is what I failed to appreciate during those first few weeks of mummyhood when I didn't magically feel all mummy-like. I needed help (and good conversation) to remember that I was many things before being a mum, and I will continue to be many things as a mum. Once I was able to integrate this new role of mum into my pre-existing personhood, I felt like I was on my way (not that I have any idea of where this crazy ride will take me).

I know that being a mum opens you up to all sorts of questions, from all sorts of people (including those tiny little babies who will eventually grow into inquiring toddlers/kidlets). But as a new mom you are thrown right into it, having to face some doozies right off the bat… How was labour/recovery? Is he sleeping well? Are you breastfeeding? What is post baby sex like? However, those gems will have to wait for another day as it’s late, so late, that K has already been up for one of his nightly feeds, and if I don’t get to bed soon, morning (and our 2nd wedding anniversary) will be here before my head hits the pillow!

Until next time my friends!

-A

Lovin' Mummyhood at the Zoo!

A Med Student for a Daddy: Part One: On the Move

Hello Friends,

It has been a busy week! Just over a week ago, D found out he would be doing his 5 week family medicine rotation at RVH in Barrie, a rotation that started yesterday. Lucky for us, D has a wonderful Aunt who just happened to have a basement apartment empty for the month of August, and an added bonus is the fact that our underground parking garage ramp will be closed with no access to the garage Aug 1st-Sept 1st, so now we don't have to find (and pay for) somewhere to park our car! So after a week of hectic preparations we loaded up the car with our little family and trucked up HWY 400 to Barrie.

As most parents will tell you going anywhere with a baby is quite the production. Considering it takes me a solid 1/2 hr just to gather the baby paraphernalia necessary for a trip to DQ, I was quite overwhelmed at the prospect of gathering a month's worth of necessitites (let alone condensing it enough to fit in our little honda). D and I joked about how if it was just the 2 of us, we could've hitch-hiked up here, since our stuff fit comfortably in one suitcase. But, alas, babies need stuff and a lot of it!

All loaded up and ready to go!

 D started at the hospital yesterday, so today is the second day K and I have been on our own in our new home in the 'burbs, and boy is it different than being snuggled right downtown in our little condo. Yesterday, we ran a few errands with the car, but for some reason K has decided he hates car rides and screams his little head off (complete with tears pouring down his cheeks) the entire time, so today we opted to walk/stroll around the neighbourhood.

I must say, I don't think I'm cut out for the burbs'. There is sooo little action.. so few opportunities for people watching. I know some of you must be thinking "woah wait a minute, you grew up in the middle of a field, and you're saying the burbs' are lame?!". To that I will answer, heck yes! This afternoon, I decided to walk to the mall (~20 minutes away). I passed a total of 2 people en route, and neither of them were walking because they wanted to. In fact, I overheard both complaining about how a mother/brother/sister/husband needed to use the car, so they were stuck walking. Stuck walking?! Never have I lived somewhere that boasts miles and miles of pristine sidewalk with not a soul wanting to walk on it! I thought back to myself 2 weeks ago, looking down at poor K as I bumped, and skidded and jiggled across the streetcar tracks and down the obstacle course known as the sidewalks of downtown Toronto. I recall wishing and praying for a smooth section of pavement to give K a break from the constant brain trauma which is our afternoon stroll! Now here we are, strolling down a smooth stretch of sidewalk with perfect "baby sleep inducing" crack spacing and there is no one around for me to smile at, be surprised at, admire, judge, laugh at or cry with. Talk about a boring walk! The only saving grace was the view on the way home!

The beautiful rolling countryside in the distance
(not a skyscraper in sight)

Really enjoying the unlimited play space!

On the plus side, K, D and I have never had so much space at our disposal. Our basement apt is probably close to 800sq/ft! Our living room (yes, it's a seperate room) doesn't have to look like an unregistered day care anymore, since we can put most of K's toys and gear in the den (yes also a seperate den.. haha). Also, we have the benefit of having our aunt as the land lady, so we can hang out upstairs and out on her beautiful deck as well.
Speaking of the deck, K just woke up from his afternoon nap so I think the 2 of us will head upstairs to get some much needed vitamin D! Now that we're settled in, look forward to hearing about more of our "Barrie" Fun adventures... Get what I just did there. Haha

Until next time!

-A

Mummy Groups and Stroller Gangs

Hello!

Awaiting the rest of the "Wolf Pack"

Wow three days in a row, I think I need to slow down or I may run out of material! (On second thought...I have a lot of catching up to do!) Today I think I will discuss one of my favourite perks of being a big city mummy... Mummy groups and Stroller gangs. 

We've all seen them, rollin' down the sidewalk 3 wide, sporting their ever-so-comfy yoga pants, clutching a timmies (or starbucks) in one hand, designer diaper bag draped over the opposite shoulder, lookin' so fly that everyone they pass experiences an intense urge to pop out a baby and join in the parade. Well lucky for me, there I was with my brand-new baby boy (and fancy diaper bag) in tow ready to be welcomed into one of these exclusive mums- (and sometimes dads) only clubs. There was only one problem, where does one find a sign-up list, for a seemingly "invite-only" gathering? Throughout my 9 or so months of pregnancy, I researched everything baby, but failed to investigate these elusive groups. About 2 months into mummyhood, I decided to "give it a google", but despite my extensive research abilities, I came up empty (thanks for nothin U of T). It was time for Plan B, I decided I would frequent local spots where I've seen a group gather in hopes of being noticed (and subsequently invited in). Not a rock solid plan, but worth a shot. So there I was, chillin' at SPOT when it happened. The strollers started rollin' in.. one, two, three... as many as 15 or so! I sat up tall, and put on my most inviting mummy-smile. I received a couple smiles back, but unfortunately no invites. In hindsight, I probably could've just introduced myself but at that moment I froze (like grade 9 walking through the grade 12 section of the hallway froze), and went back to staring blankly at my crossword. I went home feeling slightly deflated, but not completely defeated. I just needed to rethink my strategy. 

Out and About in the City- My Baby is Boss

Flashback to July 2012. I had just found out I was pregnant with K (like 10 min ago) and as excitement and fear coursed through my veins I did as many newly-pregnant woman do... joined The Bump.com. The Bump is an awesome website that allows you to waste your day away by providing endless ideas for baby names, nursery colours, all the latest baby gadgets and gizmos and much much more. But the best aspect of The Bump are the discussion forums, and more specifically the "Baby Month Boards". I joined the March 2013 Moms board and was immediately part of a very diverse group of expectant mums. We supported each other throughout our pregnancies providing input and advice on a plethora of topics ranging from morning sickness to baby showers, to labour and delivery options, and even over-/under-bearing in-laws! These ladies (most of whom I will never meet) became like a bunch of sisters to me as we all grew to the size of small whales together. After the babies were born, a bunch of us (~50 ladies) created a facebook group so sharing photos and stories was as easy as 1, 2, upload! So there I was, now intimately linked to these ladies and babies all over the US and Canada. 

Back to the present. Even though 95% of the ladies in my Bump group are from the US of A, I thought it was worth a shot asking the group how they've found Mummy groups + Stroller Gangs. I received a reply from the only other mum from Toronto "A". She suggested Meetup.com (Which I must suggest to all of you, mums or not, as you can find a Meetup group for just about anything!). I logged on that afternoon, and within an hour I had joined 2 local mum groups and RSVP'd to 3 events (Wahoo!). I also made a date to meet up with "A", since she was the first of her friends to have a baby and was looking for some mummy friends as well. And just like that I was in! 

K and his Girlfriends..haha

Since that afternoon, I have been to a number of Mummy Groups and am now part of the downtown mamas and papas network. Almost every day of the week, I can join one of those previously awe-inspiring stroller gangs cruisin' 3 wide down the street. A few of us have even created our own smaller mum group with a few of the mums who live in my hood'. As a result, K has 2 baby girlfriends and has had his first baby dates.. hahah. I've also had a date with "A" and her little guy (K's first "bro"). This was my first "online dating" experience, and boy was I nervous (D laughed at me), but all was well and we enjoyed our lunch while chatting like old friends. It's amazing how much you can have in common with people you have never before met!

Thanks to my mummy groups, this farm girl turned city mummy is enjoying motherhood in the city in ways she could never have imagined. These mums have not only been able to provide unlimited resources with respect to baby-friendly places and activities and but also much needed support when I've felt like I'm completely crapping the bed as a new mum (which is good, because we can only have one person in our small condo crapping the bed at any given time and K has that covered.. haha). Plus they're totally cool having a casual conversation about hemorrhoids, cracked nipples, c-section scars, baby poop, or breastfeeding (or any other new-mum topic my non-mummy friends would cringe at) while you rock your screaming, inconsolable, I-haven't-napped-all-day baby.

So there you have it. At the age of 26, I was able to make a whole bunch of new mummy-friends (with the help of K of course) and am now looking forward to the fun we will have watching our little dudes and dudettes grow!

Until next time my (both mummy and non-mummy) friends!

Oh sheesh Mum!

-A

Getting Into a Groove: Part Two: Dressing Baby

Hi Friends!

Today I am going to talk about clothes. Not my clothes of course, as most of them I have little to no hope in hell of fitting in again (but to be fair, they barely fit before K..haha). No no, I want to talk about those cute adorable baby clothes! You know those little itty bitty, deathly cute; hats, pants, shirts, shorts, shoes, baby socks...

All dressed and ready to go home!

Before K, I had dreams of my little guy being the most adorably dressed baby in the history of the babies! I imagined baby modelling agencies lined up down the hall, fighting over who would get to represent the cutest baby on the block (nay, the world)! Strangers would stop and swoon over how incredibly well dressed my perfectly smiling infant was. Fast forward to March 17th, as I sit on my hospital bed, adorable baby sleeper in hand, staring down at this frightened little human, wondering how on earth I'm going to get those flailing but surprisingly rigid arms and legs into this cute little number. I sized up my challenge, and got to work. 15 minutes later... I had it over his head. It would be another 10 or so minutes before I wrangled his arms and legs into those impossibly small arm and leg tubes. As I sat back admiring a job well done, I realized that this sleeper was ridiculously large for my not-so-tiny bundle of joy and while he looked cute as can be, it was a far cry from being the most adorable thing I have ever seen on a baby. I knew that there was another smaller (and probably much cuter) outfit packed in the diaper bag, but at that moment I realized that I didn't give a poop about whether or not he had a cute outfit. He could be wearing a paper bag for all I cared, I was NOT going to go through the ordeal of squishing, and squirming and slipping and sliding my newborn into another outfit. Poof! Went any desire to dress my baby to the title of the next fresh face of Baby GAP.

As a matter of fact, you could say Poof! Went any desire to dress my baby at all... for the first few weeks of K's life, this is how he remained...

With a bod like that, who needs clothes!

Now the only problem with the "no clothes, no problems" technique is that there comes a time in every baby's life when he have to brave the chilly April weather and face the scruntinous public eye (in our case it was to H&R Block to do our taxes). Unfortunately, prior to this little outing we had not realized that we really had very few (read: none) outfits that fit our little guy, so this was Baby's First Outfit...

Who doesn't like Erkel pants?

Hahaha..Strike 2 for the whole Baby Gap thing.

Now, we've come a long way since that first attempt at dressing and I'm happy to report that not only do we have a larger selection of size appropriate clothing, but we dress K daily! I have also come to realize that Baby K doesn't need all the newest, greatest, most GAP worthy clothing to look absolutely adorable, and while I don't have agents lined up around the block to sign my little rockstar, I DO get stopped by strangers on the street to swoon over, not how well dressed he is, but how freakin' beautiful HE is (one proud mummy here!).  

That being said, I was out shopping the other day and picked up some rockin' baby clothes from Baby Gap, a couple of those cute mini-man outfits, (you know, the kind Pre-K me had imagined filling my little guy's closet). I was excited to get them all washed up so that I could play dress up with my little man. As I picked up my little GAP model to admire the celeb-worthy outfit, a week's worth of drool came pouring out of his cute little grin. On went the clashing, but only clean bib we had, and gone was the picture perfect outfit. As a matter of fact, within a 1/2 hr I was peeling off that impressively soaked button-up mini-me shirt and K was yet again topless... C'est la vie! But wouldn't you know it, even without those wildly adorable baby britches, he is still the most adorable baby in the entire world! 

Until next time!
-A

K's brief stint as a Baby Gap Model

Back to the Bare Necessities

Getting Into a Groove: Part One: Breast Feeding

Hello again.

I know it has been a while, but hey...I'm a new mum (and yes, I will continue to use this line for the next year or so). However, now that I feel like I have at least some of my ducks in a row, I think it's high time for another post. When contemplating what to write about, I couldn't help but focus on one of those very big ducks: breastfeeding (BF).

Breastfeeding has been quite an adventure (as I'm sure it is for any new mum) and while I'm finally getting the hang of it, it has not been without struggle and stress. Before K, I read lots of books, scanned lots of websites and talked to many friends and family about breastfeeding. I may be in the minority here, but was excited to breastfeed, like genuinely excited. I decided early on that yes, I will breastfeed and I am going to be soo good at it. What I failed to appreciate is that BFing (or any type of feeding for that matter) is most definitely NOT a solo activity and that the statement "I'm going to breastfeed" should be changed to "We will try breastfeeding". Now, I know what most of you are thinking, "of course it's not a solo activity silly new mum, obviously a baby is required". I guess I just didn't realize how big of a role baby K was going to play in this little dance. No amount of reading, consulting, or practice with a plastic doll can prepare you for that moment mid-milk letdown that your baby decides to pull off of your nipple. No words can describe the panic that rushes over you as you realize you don't have a free hand to stop that streaming milk spewing into your newborn baby's eye, or the resultant fear that will plague every breastfeeding session you will have from that moment on. It would be this fear that would turn the first few months of BFing into the most isolating group activity I have ever done. With D being at the hospital all day long, and sometimes overnight, I was on a fast track to becoming a hermit. It was around month 2 that I decided enough was enough. I was done being confined to the couch with my ever-so-secure BFing pillow and handy face-wiping cloth or hiding away with my elaborate set-up behind closed doors when friends visited (cue my BFing theme song Queen's I want to Break Free).

I knew it wasn't going to be easy (read: I knew it was going to be a hot mess of milk, baby and flailing limbs), but if I ever wanted to get out and enjoy the city with my new little bundle of joy, we certainly needed to develop our BFing "skills". First on the agenda was to free up a hand. This took a few days of practice but by day 3, I was able to pick up my phone to bbm or check facebook (wahoo!). Next, we needed to get rid of the need for that bulky BFing pillow, success! (Also +1 for resultant toning of mummy's arms and shoulders). I also wanted to be a mobile BFer since it became ever so obvious that there is not always a comfy (or clean) place to sit while out and aboot. This took some getting used to but by the end of the week, I was able to walk to the sink and back without K falling off the boob (go team!). Lastly, was mastering the nursing cover (since unfortunately the average Canadian, is not cool with the boob-in-your-face style of BFing that is enjoyed by many moms around the world). I got used the cover pretty quickly, it was K that needed some time to become cool with having a dark, mummy-blocking piece of fabric draped over his face and upper body during mealtime. I'm happy to report that he has since come to enjoy this little "man cave", and the fear that consumed him those first few times has thankfully been replaced by an excitement of the meal to come (now if only he would stop playing "peek-a-boo" with unsuspecting passersby.. haha). After mastering all of what I felt were the necessary components of public BFing. I decided to give it a go at my local coffee shop and much to my surprise... not a soul noticed. It was the first time I had practiced and practiced and practiced a skill in hopes of no one noticing how good I was at it (and I must say, I was pretty damn good ;)

Since that first time, I have freely breastfed all around the streets of T.O. and since no one seems to notice, I'm going to brag to you guys... I have proudly breastfed:

1. Sitting on a bench at Spadina and Bloor
2. Walking through the Eatons Centre
3. Walking through the PATH
4. Watching a Jays game at the Rogers Centre
5. While grocery shopping (note to self: avoid the frozen food aisle)
6. Walking home from our local dog park
7. At the table while out for breakfast
8. On a couch at a friend's house during a 10-person game of charades

(Reading through this list just made me think of this, in which a list of sorts is also bragged about.. haha)

Bam!

Now, I'm sure most of you could care less about BFing, and even less about where I've breastfed and to be honest a year ago, I, myself would not have read past the first line of this post (so thanks for getting this far). However, as a new mum, a majority of my day is spent either breastfeeding, planning to breastfeed, or reflecting on a feed so it's kind of a hot topic for me right now (and a hobby of sorts). I've also found that the more I talk about BFing, the more comfortable I (and those around me) get about where and when I do it. This not only helps to minimize the stress that I feel is inherent in BFing but also frees K and I up to fill our day with many new and exciting adventures (which I will have to tell you all about in a later post, as it is getting very late and wouldn't you know K will be up for another feed in a couple of hours!).

Until next time my friends!

-A

I'm a Mum... Holy crap.

Hello world.

That's right I'm a mum! 

Now, I know being a mum is nothing new. New mums are, in fact, born everyday, but as I sit on the couch drinking my tea and watching yet another recorded episode of "The Voice" it dawns on me... I, Amanda R, am mum (and to the most amazing little boy in the entire world- I must add)! 

These first few months have been a whirlwind and while I've been diligent about capturing every. single. movement our little guy makes on my camera phone, it has come to my attention that I have not captured a single memory in written form! This was somewhat of a shock to me as throughout my 6 years of post-secondary education, I have come to really value the importance of written self-reflection (insert eye-roll from each and every one of my classmates.. haha). But in all seriousness, I want to be the best mum I can be. And if academia has taught me anything, to develop and grow in any role, one must prioritize and seek out opportunities for continuous learning. So that brings me back to tonight, where I've now shut off the T.V. in an attempt to find words to capture the adventure that has been mummyhood.

* I've decided to use a blog as a vehicle for these adventures so that other new-mums can laugh, love and learn alongside me, and more seasoned mums can mainly laugh (remembering though, that every mum was once a "new-mum"). 

K J R- 8lbs 5oz

I became a mum on March 15, 2013 at exactly 12:18am. While many mums may say they became mums the instant that 2 lines (or a happy face, or a digital "pregnant") appeared on the home pregnancy test, I can honestly say that for me that was not the case. Those feelings, while at the time felt so impressive, paled in comparison to those I experienced when they placed my screaming, gooey, puffy-faced baby on my chest. As I looked down at this real live human being, something had changed, I was his mum! Now, what I wasn't expecting was how utterly clueless I was about to feel...

Baby K had been born via c-section, so I was in the hospital for 2 days following his birth. For those two days, I didn't have to change a single diaper, or retrieve the baby from his bassinet for feedings (I have the most amazing husband). I also didn't have to think about those new-mum worries (Is he breathing? Is he swaddled too tight? Does he have a fever? Is that jaundice?) since the nurses were in every couple hours to check on him (and me). I'd like to think I was able to "ease" into my new role as mummy by completing an "observership"(minus the breastfeeding- that got "real" very quickly.. haha). However, when our discharge day arrived D and I stood at the hospital entrance, baby in tow looking at each other thinking, "Are they really letting us walk out with this little guy? We are not qualified to do this. Poop just got real"...

Honestly, those first few weeks just flew right by, although at the time, they seemed endless. Breastfeeding was no walk in the park, and neither was recovering from someone slicing through the better part of your abdomen. But I had lots of help from D and other family and friends, so that part was  not too bad at all. It was when D went back to work, and the visitors slowed down that I found myself staring at my adorable baby boy thinking "now what?".  I had learned all about infant development in school and how to promote healthy development, so there I was, down on the floor dangling, brushing, rubbing, patting and tapping all sorts of sensory materials, but all K wanted to do was sleep and eat. What was wrong with him? Am I that crappy of a mom already? Where was the happy smiling Johnson and Johnson baby that looks at his mum with those big shining "I love you" eyes. All I could get from K were blank stares. What I failed to realize, was that adorable "commercial baby" was 3 months old, looking back I now understand that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my little guy, he was simply a newborn baby... haha who knew? But it sure added some new-mum stress to those first few weeks. To remember: Newborn babies sleep, cry, poop and eat... that is all. (Those seasoned mums, doctors, and nurses that tried to tell you that, were not lying to you.) 

Sleeping- Perfectly normal for a newborn!

Well I have learned much much much more, and I'm continuing to learn more every day! However, it is  getting late, and I should try to get some sleep before K wakes up for his next meal. Until next time my friends!

-A