I must admit, it feels like D and I have not done much by way of preparing for Little Lady's arrival in just over 3 months. Thinking back to when I was expecting K, we were in prep mode from the moment that little blue plus sign popped up. The first order of business, was to kibosh D's plans to upgrade our cable to a premium package (this just so happened to be what he was doing while I [unbeknownst to him] was in the bathroom peeing on a stick). From there, we spent the next 9 months making sure our tiny condo, and all of it's inhabitants, were prepped and ready for Little Man's arrival.
This time around, while we're closing in on the 6th month mark, the only thing in this (slightly larger) condo that indicates a baby's on the way, is my (slightly larger) abdominal region.
Now, I should clarify that "out of sight", does not necessarily mean ill-prepared, as we plan on reusing most of K's baby gear for Little Lady. So, in reality, we probably do have just as much ready to go as we did at this time with K.
However, what seems to be missing is the daily, nay hourly, celebration of our impending arrival. The crib and change table waiting eagerly in plain sight, the proudly displayed basket full of baby-related paraphanalia I scored at the Babytime Show (attended around month 4 or so), the handful of baby books splayed across the coffee table and the "baby" folder saved to my desktop filled with product reviews, appointment times, dream gear, labour and delivery plans, perianal massage guides and anything and everything related to baby naming). Man did I rock pregnancy the first time around!
It's not that we're not excited about Baby Number 2. In fact, I think I may be more feeling more of the excitement this time around, because some of those new mum fears are non-existent (How will I know when to change baby's diaper? How do you cut a baby's finger nails? What if I can't figure out how to hold baby?).
It's just that I'm torn.
How do you balance new baby excitement with celebrating the amazingness that is your toddler?
I'm well aware that once baby arrives, my attention will have to be split. And for the first few months, I'm anticipating that that split won't be 50/50 between the new baby and K. So I think subconciously, I'm trying to focus a majority of my energy on celebrating K and his achievements in hopes that the little guy may bank some of this attention for days when he's feeling a little dethroned by baby (one can dream right?). Unfortunately, this approach has left little time (or energy) to spend on focusing on Little Lady.
I was warned by other second (plus) time mums, that there will be days where you walk by a mirror only to be shocked by your baby bump (Wait, what?! Oh right, I'm pregnant.), but until it happens to you it seems almost unfathomable. I mean really, how can you forget that you're having a baby? But, as unbelieveable as it may seem, they were right! Just the other day I had one of these crazy moments. It was truly amazing (and frightning) considering the amount of effort I've been needing to get up off the floor, out of the bathtub or out of bed at night. I, like many mums before me, suffer from occasional bouts of Baby Belly Disconnect (BBD).
Enter, baby kicks! While I don't have time to sit around and eagerly anticipate each one (as I did with K), they are nature's way of reminding me that I have a living, energetic, amazing little person growing inside of me. Each little high kick and/or judo chop to the abdomen forces me to take a moment (however brief it may be) to appreciate our growing family. They also help to alleviate some of the BBD I've been feeling.
Another way I've been attempting to connect with Little Lady, is by preparing K for big brotherhood. We have acquired a number of big brother books, we talk about K's future big brother responsibilities and have attempted to involve K in the naming process (sorry buddy, but we're going to continue to veto "Orange", "Heart", "Ted" and "Puppy"). I think we may be making progress as K knows that there is a baby growing in my belly, that she has a heart beat that goes "bum bum, bum bum" (this is his highlight of attending my prenatal appointments), and that she will (hopefully) drink milk from mummy's boobies (right now though he will be the first to tell you the "milk, all gone").
So I suppose we have been preparing for Little Lady, it's just that baby prep looks a lot different with Baby Number Two than it did with K. This time instead of preparing a home for a baby, we're preparing a family for a new member!
Now, I should probably get off here and start sorting the 2 years worth of baby clothing needing to be organized before June. Strike that, K's up from his nap. Maybe tomorrow...
Until next time friends,
-A
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