This week's announcement that Will and Kate are expecting Baby #2 left me feeling kind of blah. While I'm super excited to witness Kate, once again, transform into the classiest, most stylish baby bump-sporting mum-to-be, I can't help but feel a smidge of jealousy at the speed with which her and Will got that second baby "on board".
Now that K is 1 1/2, I've been getting a lot of "So when is the next one coming?", "Are you planning on another one soon?", "I think K wants a baby brother or sister, you should get on it.". I overheard an old man at Pizza Hut the other day straight up tell D "He's old enough now, I think it's about time for another." I sat in the booth a few tables away thinking to myself. "For real old man?"
Who says that?! Let alone to a stranger.
What frustrates me the most about these comments, is not that people are making them (although that is annoying)... but that we completely agree! Unfortunately yelling "We're trying!" into their faces is not an socially acceptable reply to their comments (although I think it should be).
Maybe it will come as a shock to some people that we have, indeed, thought about expanding our family. No, strike that, we have been trying to expand our family. We were lucky with K, we didn't have to try very hard at all. I think we took for granted the complexity that is baby-making. Now six months in, I'm beginning to resent the feelings my past self had regarding getting pregnant. I've come to the realization that it's not always the "walk in the park" my mother warned me about in high school. However, in her defense, with 4 under 5, I'm pretty sure she just had to think about being pregnant and it happened for her and my dad (we WERE conceived via telepathy, right guys?).
Anyway, I have a new appreciation for anyone who has struggled or is struggling with the baby-making process. While I can't speak for the male part of the equation, as the female player I am constantly managing different types of guilt. On top of the initial guilt I feel each month for not getting pregnant, I have had the added guilt for not staying pregnant, and most of all as a mum to a happy, healthy little boy, a special guilt for feeling guilty at all. Should I really being feeling anything but happy and thankful that I already have the most perfect little boy to hug and kiss and (s)mother?
One look at K and the answer is clear, definitely not. I'm not going to lie, the last few months have been hard and really took a toll on my identity as a sucessful stay at home mum (isn't stay-at-home mum synonmous with productive baby-making machine?). However, watching K grow and change into the sweetest little boy, I've come to realize that my success as an at-home mum is not tied to the number of babies in my care or my uterus having a no-vacancy sign. Succeeding as a mum (of any type) is about raising happy children and judging by the smile on my little man's face (as he eats his grilled cheese sandwich) I think I'm doing all right.
Baby-making can be tough. Please keep this in mind when contemplating a seemingly harmless comment, as you never really know where the other person is at. Trust me, your comment will never ever be the "ah ha" moment someone needs to start thinking about family planning... ever. That being said, for all those Nosey Nellies out there... with K we have our "heir", the "spare" will come along when he/she is meant to, but for now I'm wholeheartedly enjoying my 1 1/2 year old.
Until next time my friends,
-A
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| Mummy and "The Heir" visiting her and Daddy's Alma Mater |
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