“Time flies.” “These days are gone in the blink of an eye.””Where has the time gone?” “You fall asleep at 6 and wake up 60.” “Enjoy your babies, before you know it they’ll be grown and gone.”
As a mum, I hear these phrases, or others just like them, almost daily. I hear them from family; friends; older, more seasoned mums; well meaning strangers at the grocery store. Heck! I’ve even heard them pass from my own lips. I used to experience a pang of sadness at the thought of losing time, growing older, my little people leaving me, but recently I’ve decided, no more.
Time is time, it ticks by second by second. It always has. Most would agree that time seems to go faster as we get older, but that’s just it. It “seems” to go faster. The experience of time is all about perspective. The more I think about time, and more specifically, the passage of it, the more I realize that time doesn’t “go” anywhere. These moments, memories, they’re mine to keep. They surround me all day every day. When I wake up for G’s 3am feeding, there they are. The very first time I held her in my arms; lugging her carseat to her 6 month doctor’s appointment; that horrible time she face-planted onto the hardwood floor. Or watching K in the rearview mirror while sitting in the drive-thru at McDonalds, there they are. My McDonalds breakfast on the way to the hospital to have him; his first Happy Meal at the Walmart in Etobicoke; that time he chucked his happy meal toy at the baby’s head while she was grabbing for the blocks he was playing with. I’ll carry these moments into old age. Sure, some will fade, some will blend together, some will be misremembered in a slightly better light, but they will be there.
Time doesn’t fly. It just sometimes feels like it’s speeding up because I’m making more and more memories. With two children, comes ten times the experiences. No two days look exactly the same, and while breakfast 5 years ago probably consisted of coffee and toast en route to school, this morning’s seemingly innocuous breakfast presented a handful of memories because three of us were a part of it. That’s not a sad thing, hell, that’s a fantastic thing! It means I’m doing more, experiencing more, living more. I will not be sad about that. Will my heart ache a bit when K and G move the last of their things out of our future house? Probably. But I’m excited for that heartache because it will not only mean I’ve done my part to encourage them to set and strive for their goals, but I’ve lived long enough to see them go. Is that morbid? Maybe a little, but it’s the truth. Each day I’m here to make memories, is a day I’m grateful for. Even those days that start at the crack of dawn, where neither child naps, K doesn’t make it to the potty, G refuses to eat anything that hasn’t been forcibly removed from my body, D calls to say he’ll be an hour late coming home from work and the the PVR deletes all our saved episodes of Paw Patrol off the box. Because those days, they go on FORREVVER, and in those moments I get to experience this particular time in my life in slow-motion, and I’m reminded that time doesn’t really fly at all. Time is time. It’s happening, it’s real, it’s trudging along relentlessly, but it definitely does not fly. The tough days are there to remind us of that, that those years that seemed to have slipped away, have not “slipped” anywhere, but are stuck in my memories and the memories of my kids (and all over my kitchen floor.. which reminds me, I should really bust out the Swiffer).
So I challenge you, the next time you feel the urge to blurt out “time flies” or some similar sullen sentiment, stop and really think about it. What have you been up to? Has it really flown? Is it really “gone”, or do you see those years in the faces of everyone around you, in your accomplishments, in the things you hold most dear in life. Time gave you all of that and it’s passage should put a smile on your face.
Until next time friends,
-A
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